Love and Leadership: What an Omelet on a Construction Site Taught Me

Valentine’s Day is today, and I’ve been thinking about how rarely we use the word “love” in the same sentence as “leadership.”

As a woman who entered the workforce in a traditional corporate job, I experienced leadership in a largely performative and transactional way. Leaders were supposed to have all the answers, manage and control everything, be ambitious, be tough.

I learned that while being thoughtful was nice, being hard-driven was what earned promotions. I didn’t feel like I could be the softer version of myself — relational, compassionate, sensitive, introspective, loving. Those traits weren’t valued. I was told I needed to toughen up.

Now that I lead my own business and have seen what different approaches yield, I have a different perspective:

Love is essential to good leadership.

Love doesn’t make leadership weaker. It makes it wiser, stronger, more sustainable.

When I think about the leaders I admire most, what stands out isn’t how hard they push or how forcefully they lead. It’s their presence — a grounded, steady presence in how they listen, make decisions, and treat people. They bring steadiness into chaos. They lead with respect and kindness. They create environments where others feel seen, valued, and aligned.

In my own business, I am continually learning to let go of “manage and control” mode and lead from a more loving space. What helps me shift perspective is remembering that my staff members are people first – kind, giving souls who care for others every day. They have lives beyond work. Families. Histories. Stressors they don’t always talk about.

They are whole beings for whom work is one facet of life. They are not widgets to be used. They are the lifeblood of our business and deserve to be honored as such.

Leaders often talk about valuing their teams. Showing up as a loving leader and genuinely caring for your people is how you demonstrate that value.

And this extends beyond teams. How we treat clients, contractors, and vendors shapes outcomes just as much as strategy does.

One contractor who helped us build our center profoundly impacted my leadership.

We were days away from opening. Stress was coming at me from every angle. I saw clients during the day, then built furniture and moved boxes at night. I was sleep-deprived and anxious. The task list felt endless. One morning, before a meeting, our general contractor pulled out a container and placed in front of me an omelet he had made – along with fresh fruit from his garden.

“You need to eat first. Then we can meet.”

He saw me. Not as a client. Not as a project owner. But as a human being who needed care.

His kindness is imbued in our walls. When people walk into our center and say, “I feel so peaceful here. There’s something about this space,” I believe they are feeling that spirit of care. They feel how we chose to treat each other. How we tacitly agreed to lead with love.

That moment changed me because he connected with me as a human being above all else. He chose love first.

Admittedly, when I’m stressed, I can slip back into “manage and control” mode. But I recognize it now. And so does my staff. They know how to gently guide me back to my authentic self.

The world needs more loving leaders.

The kind who see the person in front of them, not just the role they fill. The kind who understand that every interaction leaves an imprint – on a team, on a culture, on a space.

It doesn’t require grand gestures. Sometimes it’s a simple act of care offered at the right moment.

A homemade omelet on a construction site changed how I lead. It reminded me that how we treat one another becomes the environment we create. That small choices make a difference. That love is not a theory – it is a decision we make moment by moment.

And leadership, at its best, is exactly that.